Have you ever sat down to do some work and thought, I’m not qualified for this?

Or tried to achieve one of your goals, but stopped because you felt you weren’t “good enough”?

Or looked at someone who seems fulfilled and happy, and thought, I’ll never get there?

Self-doubt. It affects all of us.

It’s so common that best-selling author Steven Pressfield (The Legend of Bagger Vance, The War of Art) has gone so far as to say it’s a good thing — that we doubt ourselves most when we’re pursuing something important to us.

But that perspective can be tough to achieve. Sometimes our doubts can be so strong, we struggle to see our own value. When I left the ashram and returned to London to live with my parents, I felt like a complete failure. It took a lot of work to build myself up so I could reenter society with confidence.

So today, I’m going to give you seven things you can do to improve your confidence right now. If videos are a better way for you to process information, you can see me talk about these tips here.

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1. Work through your past

Confident people make sense of their past experiences. They recognize the gifts their past has presented them with. If you struggled through hardship, maybe that means you’re strong. Or resilient.

Can you reframe the obstacles you’ve overcome, and see the lessons they taught you?

2. Develop a high-value skill

When we’re skilled, we value ourselves and don’t let others tell us what we’re worth. As you learn and grow, you’ll face challenges that build your resilience, and your resulting confidence will be based on ability, rather than arrogance.

What’s a skill you can develop that our society puts a high value on? If you’re really into numbers, you might want to learn data analysis or statistics. If you love working with people, that could mean pursuing project management or taking some leadership training. If you like design, maybe take a class in UX/UI. Whatever gets you excited is the right path for you.

3. Constantly learn

I say it all the time: learning is a lifelong pursuit. Reading, listening to podcasts, attending workshops, watching videos. When you learn, you feel a sense of accomplishment and growth. And you start to trust that you actually have some of the answers, which builds confidence.

If you’re looking for some books to read, check out some of my favorites to enrich your thinking.

4. Show yourself compassion

Have you ever made a mistake, and immediately classified yourself as bad? Even though it’s just one single mistake?

Everyone makes mistakes. It’s part of being human. Good doctors sometimes give bad advice. Good teachers sometimes say falsehoods. Good parents sometimes lose their temper.

Being confident is about recognizing that one misstep doesn’t mean you’re “bad.” Next time you make a mistake, rather than beat yourself up, show yourself some love. Nobody has all the answers. Why should you?

5. Respond calmly

Confidence isn’t a result of lightning-fast reactions. It’s slow and calculated, like a lion sizing up its prey before it strikes. Confident people listen fully, and speak intentionally. They still feel fear, or anger, or sorrow — but they take a deep breath and make sure they act from a place of clarity.

When you lose your cool and give way to your big emotions, you can say and do things you later come to regret, which damages your confidence.

6. Develop a sense of certainty

What do you like? What do you dislike? What works for you? What doesn’t? Most importantly: what are your values?

Confident people know themselves, and don’t base their decisions entirely on external factors. And they don’t just know how to answer questions about what they like — they spend their time accordingly.

Try this. For a week, keep a journal where you write down how you spend your time (e.g. Monday – Exercise: 45 minutes, Work: 8 hours, Cook dinner: 20 minutes, etc.) At the end of the week, really look at that list. Where is your time going? That’s what your values are — at least the way you live them now. 

7. Be prepared

While it may seem like confident people just show up, they do way more than that. They practice. They visualize and rehearse, so that when they need to perform, they excel. They come equipped with the skills and tools they need in order to succeed.

What are the daily habits you need in order to feel prepared for life’s challenges?

#1 New York Times Bestselling Author
Host of the On Purpose Podcast
Creator of the Jay Shetty Certification School

Community Challenge

Last week, I challenged you to come up with a constraint on a task you have ahead of you to make you more creative, and then tell me how it went. So many of you came up with thoughtful solutions to get through challenging blocks.

Reader Terry got over the hurdle of getting started on a painting for class by deciding to work only on a single aspect of it. Way to go, Terry!

Reader Alisia created a rule around their appreciation scrapbook, saying, “I will choose 3 things about my body that I appreciate and why to put into my scrapbook next time.” That sounds like an excellent way to develop more self-love, something we all need!

This week, my challenge for you is to think of one valuable skill that interests you, and commit to taking the first step towards learning it. I’d love to hear about it.

Poll of the Week