Tell me if this sounds familiar.

You’ve carefully laid out your day. You’re finally going to invest some quality time into you. 

Maybe you have a personal financial goal you want to strategize about. Or perhaps you’re building a side business, or there’s a piece of art you’ve been tinkering with.

And then, right as you get into it, your phone buzzes. It’s an urgent text from your boss, your parent or your nanny, and it pulls you away. So long, perfect day.

You try to fit it into the next day, but there’s a huge soccer match you’ve been anticipating for months. And then you try the next day, but there are so many chores to do.

And suddenly, it’s the weekend, and it would simply feel better to relax on the couch.

And so, that you time never happens. Enthusiasm for that project peters out.

I’m sure we’ve all been through this, likely multiple times. What matters to you, at your core, keeps getting kicked down the road. It leads you to wonder, how will I ever get to it? How can I actually do the things that matter to me?

The 4 P’s

Every day of our lives is filled with what I call The 4 P’s:

• Priorities: Your daily work, tied to your deepest values, that must be nurtured regularly so that you can grow.

• Preferences: The things you’d rather be doing.

• Problems: The inevitable challenges that pop up all the time. The things that make it so our to-do list is never empty

• Pleasures: The joys of life we’re all seeking.

Our priorities are the things we need to grow and be fulfilled. For example, finding the right partner, getting a diploma or writing that book—all things that matter so much to us.

But what I’ve found is that often, our desire for pleasure supersedes these. We spend that hour sleeping in rather than training for the marathon. We pick up the video game controller instead of the textbook. Now, don’t get me wrong—pleasure isn’t inherently wrong or bad. It’s just that if we’re not careful, our desires can distract us from what we’re most interested in.

And then our problems pull us even further away. We get yanked into a meeting at the worst time. The car breaks down and throws a wrench in your whole day.

And sometimes, our preferences can even distract us.

But our priorities are critical to our wellness, so I’ll tell you how to stay focused on them.

How to prioritize what matters most

Be explicit. Understand exactly what your top three priorities are each week—one for your personal life, one for your professional life and one for friends and family.

It helps if you have a clear intention behind it. When you back your priority up with an intention you believe in, you create even more motivation to stick to it.

• I want to ace my presentation so that I can get a bigger raise this year and support my family better.

• I want to build a playground in the backyard so that my daughter can have a safe place to play at home.

• I want to read 20 pages of my book so that I can continue expanding my mind.

• I want to get my life coach certification so that I can help others.

It’s not enough to simply have your priorities, however. You need a backup plan for when those priorities get derailed. Listen, it’s going to happen. It happens to all of us, all the time. It’s not a personal failure when things come up and you get distracted. That’s life.

The difference between people who stick to their priorities and those who don’t is that they have a way to get back on track.

Try this: Identify your three priorities for this week, and come up with a specific backup plan for when you get distracted. Something like, “When I start ignoring my priorities, I will take a day off of work to rest and recharge,” or “When I get off track, I will cancel non-essential plans this week to make space.”

I find it’s helpful to write it all down and hang it near your desk or on the side of your computer monitor. That way, you can always be reminded that your priorities matter. Your fulfillment matters. Simply put, you matter.

#1 New York Times Bestselling Author
Host of the On Purpose Podcast
Creator of the Jay Shetty Certification School