The secret to doing great work

Plus, Dr. Orna Guralnik on how to stop trying to fix your partner

Welcome to Weekly Wisdom. Every Thursday, we send you a thoughtful piece of wisdom designed to help you live a life of purpose. If you were forwarded this message, you can sign up to receive the free weekly email here.

I’m sure you’re aware of the concept of flow, that state of mind that’s been described as “in the zone.” You know, when time melts away as you become one with the activity you’re performing, whether it’s writing code, playing guitar or baking that perfect loaf of bread. It’s what computer science professor Cal Newport calls “deep work.” The kind of focused work that enables you to craft something genius.

Most tasks don’t require deep work. You can wash the car or respond to emails without being totally locked in.

But for some tasks, it’s vital. Writing something meaningful, composing a piece of music, solving a difficult math problem all require deep work.

The thing is, deep work doesn’t happen by accident. You need to strip away distractions. You need a long, uninterrupted block of time.

And most importantly, you need rest. But not just any kind of rest. A type of rest so many of us go without. I’m talking about deep rest.

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Deep Rest

If you’re familiar with my work, you know I love routine. Routines for the morning, routines for the evening and routines for the workday are all excellent tools for living a life of purpose.

But routines come with expectations. Limits. Rules. And every now and then, your body needs a reset. Without stillness, your mind can’t recharge. Without pause, your purpose starts to blur. Deep rest isn’t just a luxury; it’s the clarity and energy you need to move forward with focus and intention.

Try This: Once a month (or more often if your schedule allows it), carve out one day for deep rest. That means nothing on your calendar. You read correctly: absolutely nothing. A day where your only duty is to yourself. Attending to your needs.

Now, I know for some of us, a whole day devoted to our own needs is logistically impossible. For instance, if you have small children or work every day. If that’s the case, do your best. A half day. A deeply restful morning.

What’s important is that you take the time to lie down in the grass and look up at the clouds and let yourself intentionally be not productive. It may sound weird, but it’s vital to your productivity.

Just like deep work needs deep rest, real connection thrives on real honesty. This week, I had the privilege of sitting down on my podcast with Dr. Orna Guralnik, a brilliant clinical psychologist and the lead therapist on Couples Therapy. We explored why so many of us feel stuck in our relationships, whether it’s the same argument playing on a loop or that quiet, aching sense of disconnection. What we often label as a “communication issue” is usually rooted in something much deeper. If you’re ready to move past quick fixes and uncover the patterns that might be holding you back, tune in to the full episode now.

I challenge you to block one day of deep rest out right now—or half a day, if that’s what’s possible. No guilt allowed! Reply to this email and tell me: What’s one thing you’ll do on your deep rest day to truly honor yourself? I find that just by saying it out loud, you’re going to hold yourself way more accountable. I’ll share some of my favorite answers next week.

Last week, I challenged you to tell me one thing you’d do this week to increase your vital energy. Your responses were absolutely uplifting.

So many of you committed to moving your bodies this week, including reader Jessica, who wrote,

That’s such a meaningful journey, Jessica. Reconnecting with yourself is about rediscovering the quiet wisdom that’s always been within you.

Reader Syd wrote a beautiful response, listing all the things she was going to do to nourish her mind and body, saying,

That’s such a powerful commitment, Syd. Choosing to release what no longer serves you, while investing in what truly nourishes you, is an act of deep self-respect.