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In May, I was invited to deliver the commencement speech at Princeton University. I wanted to tell them something important. Something that would help them on their journey. And I think the message I shared with them is actually important for all of us to consider.

I told them that the world rewards what’s impressive. And that the pressure we all feel to succeed, to perform at the highest level at all times, and to share those wins constantly – is a trap.

Instead, what you need to do is disappear.

No, I don’t mean abandoning your student loans and skipping work.

What I mean is, stop announcing everything you do and start building something that speaks for itself.

I mean stop worrying about what everyone else thinks, and start valuing what you believe.

Stop pouring your energy into showing everyone how much work you’re doing, and instead just focus on the work. And share it when it’s ready to blow everyone away.

It took Christopher Nolan 10 years to write Inception. Lady Gaga used to perform in dive bars for audiences of 6. Sara Blakely, the founder of Spanx, didn’t tell anyone her idea for a whole year because she didn’t want anybody to prevent her from taking a risk.

Imagine the pressure they all felt as they watched their peers release films, albums, and companies. And yet they worked in darkness until it was time to share what they had.

So today, I invite you to go offline and get some work done.

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You don’t have to be a recent college graduate to disappear. All of us, at all stages of our career, have a chance right now to stop broadcasting our every move and start investing our energy into something important.

Try This: Take out a notebook or a note on your device, and answer these questions: What’s an idea you have that you haven’t given your energy to? What’s a job you want that no one thinks you’ll get? What’s a path you dream of that doesn’t come with a title or salary?

Allow yourself to dream. Really be honest. And when you have an idea of the places you want to go in your life, tell me: what can you do starting today to head in that direction?

You owe it to yourself to take that first step. Because a life that looks good is nothing compared to a life that feels good.

And giving the right sustenance to both mind and body is essential to feeling good. On this week’s podcast, I spoke to geneticist and author Giles Yeo about the biological science behind dieting. Giles challenges conventional thinking about calorie-counting and weight loss with a more complete story about the genetic basis of each individual’s relationship to food. The result is an enlightening conversation that offers a more useful and empowering way to think about diet.

Listen on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.

I challenge you to take that first step. Reply to this email right now and tell me what you can do to disappear and do your life’s work. I can’t wait to read what you write.

Last week, I challenged you to come up with 5 “I am” statements to boost your confidence. Your responses were beautiful.

Reader JoAnn wrote:

I love this, JoAnn. We can take pride in so many things, from the way we show up for others, to the way we organize our closets!

Reader Keith said:

Keith, this is beautiful. You show us that generosity doesn’t just serve those around us: it can also be a rich source of confidence and self-love.

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