How to start believing in your own worth

Plus, communication coach Vinh Giang on using your vulnerability as a superpower

Author

Jay Shetty
May 22, 2025

“Nobody sees my value or what I’m capable of. I feel like no matter how hard I try, it’s never enough.”

Your worth is not measured by what others think of you, but by your belief in yourself.

There’s this beautiful fable I want to tell you my own version of.

A young boy goes up to his father and asks him, “How much am I worth?”

The dad smiles and hands the boy a jewel. “Take this to the banker, the antique dealer and the jeweler, and tell them you’re going to sell it. When they ask what it costs, hold up two fingers. Then come back here, and tell me what they said.”

And so the boy does what he’s told.

First, he goes to the banker and tells her he’s going to sell the jewel. The banker asks how much it costs, and the boy holds up two fingers. “$2! That’s great! I’ll take it!” The boy says, “No, no, no, I still need to check with the antique dealer.”

So then he goes to the antique dealer and tells them he’s going to sell the jewel. Again, they ask how much it costs. Again, the boy holds up two fingers. “$20! What a deal! I’ll take it!” The boy says, “Not yet, I still need to check with the jeweler.”

He goes to the jeweler, tells her he’s going to sell the jewel, and once more, she asks how much it costs. Once more, he holds up two fingers. “$200! That’s a steal! I’ll take it!” The boy says, “Not just yet. I need to check with my dad!”

The boy runs home to his father, jumping up and down excitedly. “Dad! Dad!” he exclaims, “The banker offered me $2, the antique dealer offered me $20, and the jeweler offered me $200! So you tell me: how much is this really worth?”

The father smiles and says, “Son, you asked me how much you’re worth. And just like this jewel, different people will see you differently. Different people will value you differently. Your real value is the value you place on yourself.”

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Seek Your Value

I bet right now, you could tell me 10 things you messed up today, but would struggle to say 10 things you got right. Am I right? Not because you’re a failure, or bad in any way. It’s because we are all obsessed with our flaws.

We’re so hard on ourselves, each and every one of us. We beat ourselves up constantly, and that constant self-harassment is sabotaging us, getting in the way of us living our best lives.

To build confidence, you must obsess over your wins, skills and strengths. You also need to value yourself.

Try This: Take out a piece of paper or open a digital note, and make six categories: 

  • Physical

  • Mental

  • Financial

  • Emotional

  • Spiritual

  • Relational

Under each one, I want you to write the things you like about yourself in each area. Highlight the ones you love about yourself. And keep going until you fill the page.

Keep this document somewhere you can see it, so you have a constant reminder of what you love about yourself.

Because you’re worth it.

You just need to believe that.

And believing in yourself starts with feeling heard. On Monday’s episode of “On Purpose,” I sat down with communication expert Vinh Giang to reveal that powerful speaking isn’t a gift you're born with; it's a skill anyone can build through practice and self-awareness.

Vinh shares practical tools, including his transformative "four stages of competence," to help you gain confidence, handle interruptions and harness your authentic voice, even if you're naturally shy or introverted. Our conversation is also a beautiful reminder that communication is about more than speaking; it's about creating connection, understanding, and growth in all areas of life. Listen on Apple or Spotify.

Community Challenge

Take a look at the list of things you love about yourself. What’s something that surprised you on this list? Reply to this email telling me the most surprising thing you love about yourself. I’m so excited to read what you wrote, and I’ll share some of the answers that catch my eye.

Last week, I challenged you to commit to doing something that brings you closer to your path. Your responses were inspiring!

Reader Angela wrote, “I am going to reach out to an entrepreneur I've been wanting to have coffee with to pick her brain about her journey.” Good for you, Angela. I hope that conversation is fruitful and enlightening.

Reader Alisa wants more creativity in her life. She wrote, “This week, I will carve out small pockets of time, even if it is only five or ten minutes, to create. Drawing or writing, most likely. This gives me something to share, which is so important when interacting with creative people.” This is a wonderful idea. So often, we get discouraged from dedicating time to do the things that nourish us because we feel like it’s not enough. But ten minutes is a lot more than zero.

And reader Susan was particularly ambitious, saying, “This week, I commit to reaching out to someone I haven’t connected with in a while and inviting them to coffee, a walk, or a phone call to catch up on the latest news in their life. I will also try a new activity, such as a local event, class, or meetup, where I might meet new people or experience something different.” Great! Something old, something new. A beautiful way to reinvigorate your week, Susan.

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