A lot’s changing in the world. There are so many big and scary things going on. Rapidly evolving technology. Geopolitical strife. Nations at war. Infectious disease. Natural disasters. Disagreement. Ugliness. The list goes on. It can seem as though everywhere you look, there’s discord. These are problems that nobody appears to agree on how to solve.

And change isn’t just something happening on a global scale. It’s taking place in your personal life, too. Relationships evolve. Careers take unexpected turns. Responsibilities pile up. You might be moving to a new city, stepping into an unfamiliar role or letting go of something you thought would last forever.

In these times, it can be easy to develop a deep sense of anxiety and overwhelm. What should I do? you ask, frozen by the enormity of everything around you.

Change, whether good or bad, big or small, is natural. In life, it is a constant. So, our task is to learn how to embrace it. Below, I offer a technique designed to help you do just that.

Embracing Change

To embrace change, I’d like to borrow a timeless piece of Stoic wisdom. As the Greek philosopher Epictetus said nearly 2,000 years ago, “Some things are in our control and others are not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our own actions.”

In other words, focus on what you can control and let go of the rest.

Try this: Draw two big circles side by side on a piece of paper. Label the one on the left “What I can control.” On the right, put “What I can’t control.”

Then, I want you to list every anxious thought bouncing around your head inside the appropriate circle.

• I don’t know what to make for dinner → Can control

• I’m terrified of the immediate impacts global warming will have on my community → Can’t control

• I feel behind at work → Can control

• My aging relative is dying → Can’t control

Notice how much of what’s inside your mind is out of your control. Other people’s attitudes, behaviors, actions—you can think about them all you want, but they’re draining your energy. Precious energy you need to focus on what you can control. Look at everything in that other list. That stuff needs your attention. But it’ll never be done if you give all your energy away.

You’re never going to stop having negative thoughts. What I’m encouraging you to do is to compartmentalize them.

Now, if something outside of your control is really bothering you, maybe it’s worth spending some time channeling that energy towards activities you can take related to that negative thing. For example, someone at work is taking credit for your efforts. You can’t control them. But you can book a meeting with your supervisor to walk them through everything you’re up to.

We’re only given so much energy and time in this life. We don’t want to waste it pushing a boulder up a mountain.

#1 New York Times Bestselling Author
Host of the On Purpose Podcast
Creator of the Jay Shetty Certification School