An Edited Approach to Boundaries

April has a reputation.

Blossoms, brightness, new leaves, fresh plans, a sense that life should be opening up again. We expect energy and momentum — a full-bodied, 100% return to YES.

But this month has felt different for me, and maybe for you as well. 

Sometimes, after a long winter, a demanding stretch of life, or even a series of challenging world events, your wisest move may not be to spring back at 100%. It may mean coming back a little slower. A little more edited. 

So much of adulthood teaches us to think in extremes: all in or all out, fully available or completely unavailable, yes or no. But real life is rarely lived in those absolutes.

Using wisdom in proportion has been my personal philosophy lately, and I’m calling it The 50% Yes.

It’s an edited yes that allows me to be a little bit in, and also a little bit out.

Here’s where it comes from:

I have never been especially good with boundaries, and not because I don’t know why they should exist. It is more complicated than that.

I am driven by purpose, by growth, and by a deep desire to create a life that feels fully alive. I like showing up for people. I like saying yes to what matters. I like the surprise of what becomes possible when I remain open to new ideas.

But after a while, saying yes too fully starts to feel like a burden. Slowly, without noticing, we begin to lose something important in all those agreements: choice.

Choice is what The 50% Yes principle is built on. 

It is not always the yes itself that drains us. It is the feeling that the thing we’re saying yes to doesn’t fully belong to us. 

When our time, energy, and attention are spoken for too quickly, even good things begin to carry a resentment. Not because we did not want parts of them, but because we never chose the full shape of them.

I don’t want all of my answers to shift from 100% yes to 100% no. I don’t like the feeling that ‘no’ brings up inside me. Never have. I want more yes energy in my life. I believe in friendship. In family. In community. In reciprocity. In service. In showing up. I know that some of life’s best moments arrive through invitation. Yes is sometimes a doorway.

But I needed my yeses to feel like mine again. 

So I started editing them.

If something asks for 100%, I ask what 50% would look like.

If the full version means ten things, I choose five.

Instead of saying, “I can’t make it to a party that starts at four and ends at ten,” I might say, “I can be there from six to nine. Looking forward to it!”

Not with apology. Not with elaborate explanation. Just with clarity.

That’s not a no.

It’s a yes in the shape of me. 

𝓐𝓷𝓷𝓪 𝔁𝓸