An Ask Jay LIVE attendee who is a business owner and first-time grandparent beginning a new chapter in life, shared with me that over the past two years, she’s lost 100 pounds and done incredible mental and emotional work on herself.

From the outside, it looks like she’s had a fresh start.

But here’s what else she shared with me…

For a long time, her identity was her family or her work, and now she’s struggling to find purpose because what fulfilled her before is not fulfilling her now. She feels wiser, the world feels open to her, and she’s seeing things through a new lens. But, she’s looking for guidance on how to find what feels meaningful to her at this point in her life.

Maybe you feel this way, too.

A role you once poured yourself into has shifted.

Here’s what I shared with her, and what may resonate with you:

Your worth never came from your job title or your role as a parent. It came from what you were willing to offer.

Many people find meaning through serving others.

When you were working, you were serving.
When you were parenting, you were serving.
When you were organizing, helping, supporting, guiding, comforting… you were serving.

So the real question becomes: “How do I want to serve now?”

We often overlook our gifts because they’ve felt “natural” for so long.

If you’ve raised children, run a household, built a business, supported a partner, navigated challenges, or cared deeply for others, you have transferable skills.

A woman I know who’s now an empty nester realized her favorite thing was planning family vacations. When her kids left home, she started planning honeymoons for young couples in her community. Not as a job but as a way to serve others. 

There’s another woman who lives on my childhood street who always made sure the neighborhood kids were safe. She’s still looking out for the young kids in the neighborhood to this day. 

That is what gives her a sense of purpose. That is how she’s serving.

Your purpose doesn’t have to be glamorous. It just has to feel meaningful to you.

So, if you’re in a season where your previous identities no longer fit the mold of who you are today, don’t panic.

You are not behind. You are not lost.

You are being invited to choose your meaning more consciously than ever before.

And this next chapter may be your most intentional one yet.

With love,
Jay ♥️

Last Friday on On Purpose, I broke down the small, everyday habits that quietly keep us stuck — our tendency to choose what’s comfortable, the way we assume we have more time than we do, and how often we tell ourselves we’ll start “later.”

I explained why trying new things makes life feel fuller and more memorable and how doing the same thing over and over can make months or even years feel like they flew by.

Try This: Grab a pen or open the notes app on your phone.

Start small, and serve intentionally. That is how your purpose grows.