Confidence is a daily practice

Plus, Dr. Rahul Jandial on how to reset your focus and strengthen your memory long-term

Welcome to Weekly Wisdom. Every Thursday, we send you a thoughtful piece of wisdom designed to help you live a life of purpose. If you were forwarded this message, you can sign up to receive the free weekly email here.

Alright, I have a confession to make. I’m not good at surfing. I know, I know. I’ve lived in Southern California for years now. I have plenty of friends who surf. But it’s just not something I’m skilled at.

And that’s okay.

I’m not good at surfing because the first time I stepped on a surfboard, I was in my mid-30s. Getting better hasn’t really been a priority.

I have other priorities and other strengths. I’m a great listener. I’m always working to improve my public speaking skills. I’d say I’m a reasonably skilled communicator overall.

If someone tells me I’m not a good surfer, that won’t rattle my confidence. It’s a fact! One I’m comfortable with.

If someone tells me I’m not a good listener, that also won’t rattle my confidence because I know in my heart that’s not true.

I know what my strengths and weaknesses are. I know what I’m working on. And I know what I’m letting go of. These things are always changing, and I practice self-awareness. This is where my confidence comes from. Today, let’s do the same thing for you.

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Building Confidence

Confidence is the practice of recognizing your abilities. So often, when we lack confidence, it’s because we want others to notice what we’re good at. Our mind repeats, “Why can’t so-and-so notice how nice I am?” That’s a negative thought loop. We’re only reiterating what we lack: their approval. Let’s replace that with a positive one.

Try This: Take out a piece of paper or a note on your device, and make a list of your qualities (soft things like your thoughtfulness or empathy) and your abilities (talents like having a good ear or being able to memorize well). Think about the hard skills that you’ve honed over time. Take all of these qualities, abilities and skills, and turn them into “I am…” statements.

“I am a thoughtful person.”

“I am great at memorization.”

Put these somewhere you can see them every day. Make a habit of repeating them. Replace those negative thought loops with positive ones. 

As you do this, you’ll notice some of your weaknesses coming up as well. Acknowledge those, but take it one step further. “I’m not a great reader, but I’m taking classes to get better.” or “I’m not good at guitar, but that’s not my priority right now.” Owning your weaknesses allows you to stay calm when others point them out to you.

If building confidence is a daily practice, keeping your mind sharp is, too. On Monday’s podcast episode, I spoke with the world-renowned neurosurgeon and neuroscientist Dr. Rahul Jandial to discuss memory, attention and the absolutely amazing potential of the human brain. The thing is that stress, distraction and poor sleep can make it hard to focus and be present. But Dr. Jandial gives lots of tips on how to take care of your brain so you can be healthy, focused and ready to tackle anything. 

Listen on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.

I challenge you to make a list of “I am…” statements right now. Reply to this email right now and tell me five of them, and commit to repeating them every morning for the next week. I’ll share some of my favorite ones next week.

Last week, I challenged you to tell me one thing you’d do this week to increase your vital energy. The responses made me feel deeply relaxed.

Reader Georgiana said,

I love that, Georgiana. Nature has a powerful way of resetting our nervous system and bringing us back to the present.

Reader Eligia writes,

That sounds so relaxing, Eligia. Well done for not just thinking about it, but making it happen.

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Feel balanced. Be radiant.

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