The answer is simple, but it’s not easy.

Stop saying “yes.” (If you don’t mean it.)

Every fake “yes” is a quiet betrayal, one that chips away at something sacred: your integrity.

I’m serious. We think “yes” keeps relationships alive. But research on boundaries says the opposite.

Warren Buffett said, “The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say ‘no’ to almost everything.” In my experience, saying “no” makes you more respected and trusted. While saying “yes” without alignment actually breeds resentment.

We feel like “no” means rejection. It can be scary to say “no.” Your brain will actually release cortisol, the stress hormone, when you say “no.” Which is why so many of us apologize when we do it. We feel guilt.

But when you say “no” to the things that don’t serve you, what you’re actually doing is building self-respect. It lowers anxiety in the long-term.

Every “no” is a slow vote of confidence in your worth. It’s that quiet moment when you choose peace instead of truth, comfort instead of clarity. And while it might feel like you’re keeping things smooth in the short term, what’s really happening is a slow erosion of trust. Not just with others, but with yourself. People can feel when your “yes” isn’t real. They might not call it out, but they notice the hesitation, the energy shift, the small withdrawal that follows.

Real connection comes from being honest. Saying “no” doesn’t end relationships; it strengthens the right ones. It tells the world, “This is where I stand.” It creates room for mutual respect and a kind of peace that can only come from truth, not pretending. Of course, it’s uncomfortable at first.

You might disappoint people. You might even feel misunderstood. But then comes the relief. The sense of alignment. The confidence of knowing you told the truth instead of keeping the peace. Boundaries aren’t about shutting people out. They’re about showing up as someone who can be trusted, including by yourself.

Every time you say “no” with clarity, you remind yourself that you matter. You remind yourself that your time, your energy, and your peace are valuable.

And when your “yes” actually means “yes”, people will start listening differently.

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How do you find motivation? How can you actually create change in your life?

On today’s episode of my podcast, I confront what can, in the moment, feel like the hardest challenge of all. Actually getting started. Doing something, anything, to turn your life around. I talk about how, at my lowest moment, I used to wake up tired, scrolling for hours, lying to myself about how things were going to be different, while wondering why nothing was changing. I felt like my potential was being wasted. But I pulled myself out of that spiral, and learned a lot during that time that I think is really valuable.

Wherever you’re listening from, I hope you hear something that stays with you. The full episode is available now.

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Make a list of 5 things that people have asked you to do that you don’t actually want to do. And yeah, I get that some of the time, we have work or responsibilities that we don’t like that we have to do. But even at work, there are times when we’re asked to do something outside the scope of our role.

What are 5 things that you really don’t want to do, that you actually can say no to?

Can you say no to them? Right now?