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Learning how to communicate is the backbone of all relationships.
Most of us weren’t taught how to communicate effectively. We’re taught to talk, but not to listen, reflect, or be intentional.
Better communication doesn’t have to be complicated. It starts with a few simple, practical principles you can apply today.
1. Learn how to talk to yourself kindly first.
When you spend time talking to yourself (aloud, in your head, or on paper), you learn how you like to be talked to, what you need, and how to honour your feelings.
This takes practice, so I invite you to open your calendar and book 3 minutes with yourself at the start and end of your day.
In the morning, ask yourself: “What is the one thing I can do to make today great?”
At the end of the day, ask yourself: “How am I feeling? What do I need this evening?”
This exercise allows you to practice empathy toward yourself, which helps you practice empathy toward others. It’s usually small adjustments that create big freedom.
2. Use different words to express how you’re feeling.
We consistently use the same words: good, bad, fine, and okay. These words are familiar to us, but they don’t really communicate what’s happening on the inside.
When you use other language to frame your experiences (learn more in “Today’s Wiser Choice” section below!), you also help people understand how you’re feeling, which gives them a clearer window into your world.
3. Experiment out loud.
Experimenting is a fun way to entertain hypothetical ideas without judgment.
For example, if you want to talk to your partner about moving in the future, you could ask: “What if we considered a move at the end of this year? Where would you want to go? What kind of house would you want to move into? What would the neighborhood look like?”
By treating ideas as experiments, you can play with possibilities without grounding decisions into reality right away. This makes conversations clearer, more creative, and more fun.
4. Separate content from context.
When someone is speaking, give them your full attention.
Listen for what is actually being said, not how it’s being said or the circumstances around it.
A great listener can understand the message (content) without getting distracted by the delivery (context). That skill alone can transform any relationship.
Better communication is about clarity, presence, and empathy – first for yourself, then for others.
Start with these principles, and over time, the small actions you take in every conversation will build deeper, more meaningful connections with everyone in your life.
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Paid partnership
On Purpose
On Last Friday’s episode of On Purpose, I shared a powerful truth: the first 60 to 90 minutes after you wake up are the most programmable moments of your day. Your brain is in a unique, highly impressionable state and instead of using that window intentionally, most of us give it away.
This episode is for you if you’re looking for simple, science-backed habits that can transform your mornings without extreme routines or unrealistic expectations.
Listen on:
Today’s Wiser Choice
Try This: Try using richer vocabulary when expressing your emotions.
Instead of saying, “I’m fine,” try digging deeper by saying: “I’m frustrated because I feel unheard,” or “I’m anxious about this change.”
Try incorporating other words like jealous, curious, proud, disappointed, or overwhelmed into your vocabulary. The more you practice, the more naturally this will come.
When you can describe what’s happening inside you, you set the stage for deeper connection, clearer conversations, and fewer misunderstandings.
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