Struggling? Don't give up now

The five stages of ambition. Plus, Lizzo on how to let go of one-sided relationships.

Author

Jay Shetty
April 10, 2025

“I’m not thriving, and it seems like everyone else is all the time”

There is no success without failure. You’re exactly where you need to be.

Tell me if this sounds familiar.

You’re picking up a new skill, like gardening, making content or meditating. It’s a thrill at first. You pour all this energy into getting started. 

You buy a huge planter for your yard. 

You take a video-editing class. 

You book a meditation retreat.

But then you hit your first big roadblock.

The plants wither and die.

Your first video gets only a few likes.

You can’t sit still for more than a minute.

Your plan isn’t working as you had hoped, yet somehow, other people seem to be achieving the success you envisioned for yourself. Everywhere you look, you see abundant gardens, viral creators or meditators devoted to their practice.

And so you give up because, you tell yourself, you’re no good at your chosen skill. This is ironic, believe it or not, because you were actually on the right track.

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Learn. Experiment. Perform. Struggle. Thrive.

We all want to thrive all the time. Naturally! Thriving is tremendous.

But we fall into the trap of thinking it comes for free. What I’ve observed, though, is that achievement and ambition can be broken into five stages. And you can’t skip any of them, no matter how hard you try.

The stages are:

  • Learn

  • Experiment

  • Perform

  • Struggle

  • Thrive

When you start playing a new instrument, step one is to learn. How do you hold it? How do you make a sound with it? What does practicing look like?

Once you know the basics, it’s time to experiment. What happens when I try this? What if I hold it this way? What would this sound like?

Then, when you start grooving (no pun intended), it’s time to perform. Just play the darn thing. Commit to it regularly.

And unfortunately, there’s no avoiding the struggle phase. The part where you hit a wall. Where it’s not so easy or exciting or fun anymore. As badly as you want to quit, that’s precisely when you have to keep going.

Only then can you thrive.

So, when you’re facing some difficulty with one of your skills or projects or frustrated that you’re not thriving, zoom out and ask: “What stage am I in right now?” 

Maybe you’re in a learning phase, and you just need to gather knowledge and find guidance. Or perhaps you’re in a performing phase and have to keep your head down and do it.

You can’t always be thriving, which is why it feels so good when you are. Because when you do get there, you know you’ve earned it.

So, keep going. I’m in your corner. 

#1 New York Times Bestselling Author
Host of the On Purpose Podcast
Creator of the Jay Shetty Certification School

Community Challenge

Are you feeling like you’re not in thrive mode right now? I challenge you to zoom out and be honest about which phase you’re in on your current journey. Hit reply to this email and tell me what phase you’re in and what that means for you going forward.

Last week, I challenged you to tell me five things you’d do to improve your workspace's sights, smells and sounds. Your ideas for spring cleaning were really inspirational—I’m tempted to implement some of these myself!

Reader Celine has ideas for soundscapes based on what she’s working on, such as ocean sounds that can be played on her computer. To top that off, she’s starting a vegetable patch in the garden. Growing your own vegetables is a beautiful way to cultivate life, presence and health.

Reader Dava got rid of lots of old books, giving most of them to the library. Donating goods you no longer need is a form of service. Nice work, Dava.

Reader Deirdre is polishing the furniture, rearranging the dinner table, removing the laundry, and doing something special: adding a new plant to her space to honor her newfound commitment. I love that, Deirdre. Having a beautiful symbol as a visual reminder of your affirmation to making your space serve you will continue to inspire you.

Now on ‘On Purpose’

On Monday’s podcast episode, I had the pleasure of talking with global superstar Lizzo about loss, change and living in the spotlight. She also opened up about her transformative weight-loss experience and how it all started with self-awareness.

As you may know, Lizzo recently went through a public scandal. We talked candidly about what she learned from that experience—how she’s now more intentional than ever with her words and the responsibility she accepts as a public figure. Going through so much change has made her acutely aware of her true friends and has helped her set boundaries that serve her rather than drain her. Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

Also on ‘On Purpose’: What does your morning routine look like? Does it boost your energy or drain it? Longtime listeners of my podcast know I’m obsessed with my morning routine and my steadfast belief that rest isn’t a reward; it’s a requirement. This episode is all about letting go of perfection and reclaiming your energy. It’s an absolute must-listen if you find yourself tired and overwhelmed, day after day. Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

‘On Purpose’ Live Tour 🎙️

I’m thrilled to announce my first-ever On-Purpose LIVE podcast tour presented by Chase Sapphire Reserve ®.

Join me for engaging conversations with a surprise celebrity guest, wellness expert or influential leader in each city. I will also guide audiences through live meditations, share groundbreaking insights and create powerful moments of inspiration designed to deepen connections, spark growth and foster learning at every stop.

Limited tickets and VIP packages are on sale now at jayshetty.me/tour. I hope to see you there! 

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