Think about the last time you felt stress wash over you.

In that moment, what was your immediate instinct?

Stress usually brings an urge with it: to reach for something, avoid something, fix something, numb something — anything that helps us feel back in control.

For some of us, it’s picking up our phone to scroll mindlessly, reaching for comfort food, throwing ourselves deeper into work, browsing online shops, or filling our schedules with endless busyness. And for others, it’s retreating into silence.

It’s easy to look at these patterns and flood ourselves with guilt, judgment, and shame. We tell ourselves we lack discipline, or that we are failing at self-care.

Today, I invite you to take a different approach. Instead of judging those urges, I want you to ask yourself: “What need is this behaviour trying to fill?”

When you reach for your phone, maybe your mind is seeking an escape.
When you bury yourself in work, perhaps you’re craving a sense of control.
When you turn to silence, your spirit might be begging for peace.

The goal isn't to judge those actions. Instead, try to acknowledge your underlying need and gracefully introduce something new that feels restorative.

If you need escape, replace ten minutes of scrolling with a walk outside.
If you need control, replace the urge to overwork with a list of joyful tasks.
If you need peace, replace the silence with a calm breathing practice.

Be kind to yourself today. Your habits are just road signs pointing toward what your soul is asking for.

With love,
Jay ♥️

What's your go-to stress response?

On Purpose

In this episode of On Purpose, I break down six simple, science-backed habits that can transform your mornings without extreme routines or unrealistic expectations. I explain why hitting snooze actually makes you more tired, how morning sunlight boosts your energy and improves your sleep later that night, and how just 60 to 90 seconds of cold water can build stress resilience. I also share why delaying your phone for the first hour of your morning protects your focus and emotional baseline.