Today’s Wisdom
Love gives someone a place in your life, not authority over it.
Read time: 6 minutes.
This is your permission to pause and take a little time for yourself.
Would you take directions to a city from someone who’s never been there?
Probably not, right?
Yet we often do this with our careers, our ambitions, and our biggest dreams. We seek opinions from people who have never stepped foot on our path and sometimes take their advice to heart.
I get it. I’ve done this, too.
When I decided to become a monk and take an unconventional path, loved ones quickly offered their opinions. Most weighed in with warnings. Their concern came from a place of deep care, but none of them had walked the road I was stepping onto.
We often make the mistake of trusting advice because we love the person giving it. But when you want to build something distinct, taking direction from someone who doesn’t have direct exposure, expertise, or experience anchors you to their limitations.
Here are 3 steps to change that pattern:
Clarify the destination: Write down the specific goal or milestone you are actively pursuing. Be as detailed as you can be.
Find your compass: Identify one person who has successfully accomplished a similar goal. You do not need direct access to them. Focus on studying how they made decisions, built their craft, and navigated setbacks. Let them serve as your teacher.
Filter out the noise: The next time a well-meaning loved one offers their opinion about a craft they have never practiced, respond with grateful detachment. Thank them for their care, but decline to let unqualified voices set your direction.
It is important to seek out mentors and guides who have been where you’re headed, not spectators watching from the sidelines. You can love their support and appreciate their intentions, but take your notes from someone who has actually done the work.
Love,
Jay ❤️
Who usually has the biggest influence on the decisions you make?
Choosing your own path isn’t always easy or glamorous. It is hard work to honour your dreams and desires when everyone else seems to be going in a different direction. Keep going. Every step forward counts.
Ask Jay: Send Me Your Voice Note
In Ask Jay, my newest format on On Purpose, I listen to voice notes from real listeners and help work through whatever is weighing on their minds. Is there something you’d want to share? I’d love to hear it, whether it’s about:
Dating and finding love
Relationships and friendships
Setting boundaries
Self-worth and confidence
Overthinking and getting out of your own head
Happiness and emotional well-being
Personal growth and finding your direction
Send your voice note to [email protected]. Tell me what’s on your heart.*
Thank you for reading The Daily Wisdom™ 🙏🏽
Remember, I’m in your corner today, tomorrow, and anytime you need a little permission to believe that everything is going to work out.
