The end of a twenty-year career, the moment your last child packs their bags for college, or the closing of a tight-knit book club that met for a decade. When those experiences end, our instincts may be to replicate exactly what we lost. 

We look for another job with the identical title, we try to recreate the busy family dinners with reluctant relatives, or we immediately join a new group, hoping to find the same friendships.

But, when we try to force a new experience into the same shape of an old one, we usually end up disappointed because we’re trying to make the practice the same, when what we should do is practice in the same spirit.

Think about being around the kitchen table when the children were young. The practice was cooking meals, managing schedules, and being an emotional anchor in the family. It’s hard to replicate that when the house is empty, but what you can do is bring the same energy to something new. The spirit of that era was nurturing, connection, and hospitality. You can bring that same spirit into volunteering, hosting close friends, or mentoring a young colleague.

The heart of it is: chapters and relationships change because life moves forward, but the underlying essence of those experiences is yours to continue carrying.

Identifying the core values – the joy, the creativity, the deep sense of purpose – that made your past chapters meaningful is what you can focus on recreating in a different form. 

So, I encourage you to take the spirit of your practices and infuse it into whatever sits directly in front of you today. 

That is one way to honour your past without remaining anchored to it.

With love,
Jay ♥️