Read time: 4 minutes.
This is your permission to pause and take a little time for yourself.

I’ll admit that I’ve done it. While someone’s talking, I’ve wondered: Do I look awkward? Why did I say that? What should I say next?

In our recent conversation on On Purpose, Harvard Business School professor and conversation expert Dr. Alison Wood Brooks, shared with me that the root of most social anxiety is a natural hyper-focus on ourselves.

We treat dialogue like a performance where we have to prove our worth, rather than a shared space to explore. It turns conversation into pressure.

Connection isn't about having a flawless script or a witty response ready. It’s about being genuinely curious about the person in front of you. When you stop trying to control how you’re perceived and start really focusing on what the other person is saying, conversation starts flowing more naturally.

I want you to consider this: the moment you shift your focus from being interesting to being interested, the pressure begins to dissolve.

The next time you feel that familiar spike of nervousness, take a breath and turn the spotlight outward. Ask one more follow-up question, leave enough space for the deeper answer to unfold, and give the conversation your full presence. 

You don't need to perform. You just need to be curious.

Love,
Jay ❤️

In this episode, Dr. Alison Wood Brooks and I explore how to master meaningful communication. Tune in to learn simple, science-backed habits to stop overthinking, handle awkward silences, and turn everyday conversations into deep, authentic connections.

Remember, I’m in your corner today, tomorrow, and anytime you need a little permission to believe that everything is going to work out.