A friend of mine used to work at a sleepaway summer camp. And he told us about the scary stories he used to tell the campers. Some of those stories would’ve kept me awake all night. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to listen to them as a kid. 

So I asked him, How did you get away with all that? Wouldn’t the kids tell their parents? He shrugged his shoulders and said, “Simple. We gave all the kids popsicles on the day their parents picked them up, and they went home happy.”

It sounds really simple, and kind of silly. But my friend was onto something. Let me explain.

In 1993, the Nobel prize-winning psychologist Daniel Kahneman and his colleagues published a study called “When More Pain is Preferred to Less.” It outlines an ingenious experiment that went something like this:

Participants put their hands in painfully cold water for 60 seconds. Then, in a second trial, they put their hand in the same painfully cold water for 90 seconds. Except for the second time, for the final 30 seconds, the temperature was raised just a little bit. It was still painful, but just not quite as painful.

Which trial do you think sounds worse?

Logically, it would be the second one, right? Because the painful cold is experienced for longer. Well, it turns out people rated the second trial as better.

But why?

According to Kahneman, we don’t judge experiences by their average or total duration. We judge experiences based on 2 moments:

1) The peak, or the most intense part (good or bad)
2) The end

So if you think back to that awful vacation you took, you remember the day it got so hot you couldn’t do anything (the peak) and that miserable 16-hour flight home (the end). Even though there was a lot of other vacation time that wasn’t so bad.

Or if you think about that amazing week you had last month, you remember the promotion you got at work (the peak) and the party you had that Friday to celebrate it (the end). Even though some pretty annoying stuff happened, also.

The Peak-End rule reveals how one cruel goodbye can ruin a relationship. And one kind act at the end of someone’s life can heal decades of distance. We don’t carry the full record. We carry the peak. And the ending.

It’s one of the biggest lessons I learned last year. 

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In this episode, Lauren and I dive into what it really means to live a guided life. We explore how to recognise signs from your intuition, build trust in your inner knowing, and surrender to the experiences your soul needs. We talk about how intuitive messages aren’t loud or emotional, but quiet, grounding truths that nudge us forward. If you’ve ever felt alone or unsure, this conversation is your reminder that nothing is ever wasted and guidance is always there when you’re ready to listen.

Wherever you’re listening from, I hope you hear something that stays with you. The full episode is available now.

Listen on

It’s one thing to learn about how the brain works. It’s another to act on that information.

Now that you know that humans really only hold onto the peaks and ends of experiences, how should that change your behavior?

Try This: Take out your calendar or your to-do list. In the coming month, are there things you can do to maximize the peaks and ends of your experiences?

For example, maybe you’re giving a presentation at work. Is there a way you can end on a bang? And maybe have a great moment right in the middle?

Or maybe you’re planning a trip with your family. Can you plan for a really big, fun day in the middle? And end on a high note?

Reply to this email and tell me what you plan to do this month to maximize the Peak-End rule. I read every response, and can’t wait to read yours.