Tell me if any of these words spark anything for you.

Chances are, you’re holding onto some old mistakes, and feeling at least one of these four things.

Maybe you’re replaying a conversation with an ex that didn’t go the way you wanted it to.

If only I’d said it differently… maybe we’d still be together.

Maybe you missed an opportunity that could have been really fruitful for you.

My life would be so much better if I’d just taken that leap.

Or maybe you can’t shake the moment you didn’t speak up.

I really should have stood up for myself.

These feelings of self-blame and regret don’t make you stronger. They actually do the opposite. They get in the way.

See, when you’re spiraling about what could have been, you miss out on what is here now. Reflecting is a valuable practise. But ruminating just wastes time and energy.

If all you can think of is how a past relationship went wrong, you’re not present for the people in your life right now.

If all you can see is the leap you never took, you’ll miss the new opportunities right in front of you.

What you need to do is forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for not being a perfect partner, or a perfect worker, or a perfect human. And make room for growth.

So often, we think of self-forgiveness as weakness. As if forgiving yourself means you don’t take your mistakes or shortcomings seriously.

Don’t get me wrong; it’s imperative that we learn from our missteps. When we get in our own way, the only way forward is by taking into account where we erred and trying to do it differently next time. But learning from your mistakes isn’t the same as beating yourself up for making them.

When we forgive ourselves, we create space to move forward. We say, “I made a mistake but I am only human and I have the capacity to make better decisions in the future.”

Nobody’s born with all the answers. The energy we use spiraling can be better spent learning new skills, strengthening our relationships, and taking care of our bodies.

Today, I invite you to initiate the process of self-forgiveness. You owe yourself the opportunity to move forward.

Throughout the year, we meet incredible partners who genuinely believe in the power of shared wisdom. Over the holiday season, we’re passing a little of that love back–starting with a few handpicked favorites from our Editor’s Choice selection.

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Last October, I had the pleasure of sitting down with the Grammy-nominated musician Jelly Roll whose success as an artist is the result of his powerful journey through self-forgiveness. Coming from a turbulent background marked by addiction, incarceration, and personal struggles, Jelly Roll was able to turn his life around. It’s a truly inspirational episode that reminds us it’s never too late to rewrite your story and create a life filled with meaning and growth.

If you want to feel inspired, learn practical tools, and hear powerful stories, follow and listen to On Purpose on Amazon Music, Spotify, and Apple Podcasts.

This December, On Purpose is part of #PodsFightPoverty—podcasts teaming up to lift three villages in Rwanda out of extreme poverty. We’re doing it through GiveDirectly*, which sends cash straight to families so they can choose what they need most. Donate at GiveDirectly.org/onpurpose. First-time donors will have their impact boosted by 50% with matching funds from Giving Multiplier. Our goal is $1 million by year’s end—enough to lift 700 families out of poverty. Join us at GiveDirectly.org/onpurpose.

Sometimes it’s not as simple as saying, “Okay, fine—I forgive myself.” Sometimes our past choices weigh heavily, and healing takes time. And sometimes we don’t even realize what we’re still carrying.

Try this: Is there something you ruminate on—something that comes up again and again? I want to invite you to journal about it. Set aside time this week to write it all down. Putting your thoughts on the page can clarify what’s going on inside and help point you toward a path forward.