Plus, Madonna on going through hard times

If you’re reading this newsletter, it means that you care about something meaningful.

Maybe you have your own business.

Or maybe you just retired and you’re inspired to find new meaning in this chapter of life.

Maybe you’re looking for love.

Or maybe you just exited a relationship and are trying to build a strong, independent life for yourself.

Whatever your journey may be, it affects how you relate to other people. And that matters, because even a strong purpose can be worn down by the wrong environment.

The people you surround yourself with influence how you feel, what you believe, and how you fully show up. They can remind you of your power, or make you question it. They can help you grow, or pull you off course.

Today, I want you to really think about the people in your inner circle. Are they fueling your purpose? Or slowing it down?

And remember: friends and allies come in all forms. When you’re curating your inner circle, don’t forget the unlikely allies, too. 

I like to think of your connections as 3 concentric circles of different sizes. Your inner circle is the smallest; these are your most supportive and encouraging connections. Your middle circle is the relationships that may be helpful to your purpose, but aren’t quite as reliable or caring. Your outer circle is filled with the relationships that hold meaning to you, but may not be supportive during this season of your life.

It starts by looking at what’s already there. Who are the people you talk to when you’re excited about your purpose? And who are the people you edit yourself around? Who do you trust to call you out when you’re drifting away from the important stuff?

What kind of support would you find the most helpful right now? Do you need cheerleaders? Or people to play Devil’s Advocate? Or a healthy mix of both? 

Try This: With a clearer idea of the kinds of support you’re getting and the kinds of support you’re craving, start mapping out who is in each circle. Remember that your middle or outer circles aren’t necessarily bad. Your middle circle can certainly help you in amazing ways. But they’re not the ones you want to turn to every day. 

Notice: are there any gaps? If you have a strong inner circle, but not that many in the middle, maybe you need to engage in a community organization, or an online workshop. If you have a thriving middle but a sparse inner circle, who among your friendships may be able to step in?

It’s okay to ask for the support you need, especially if you find ways to support others as well.

It can help to hear the stories of others who have navigated extreme challenges to find the support they need. In case you missed it, on Monday’s episode of the podcast, I spoke with the legendary pop icon Madonna about her journey breaking through adversity as an emerging artist. What she discovered was deep inner strength and the profound power of a spiritual practice. 

If you want to feel inspired, learn practical tools, and hear powerful stories, listen to On Purpose on Amazon Music. Follow On Purpose on Amazon Music for the full podcast episode and future episodes.

Listen on Spotify and Apple Podcasts

One way to earn the support of others is to be that support for someone else. What kind of presence do you want to be in someone else’s circle? Reply to this email right now and tell me what you can offer to someone in your circle. 

Last week, I challenged you to tell me about one dead or dying leaf in your life you would let go of. The responses I received were so beautiful and inspiring.

Reader Denise said,

That is a wonderful idea, Denise. Those 20-30 minutes of reading will make such a difference in your feelings of peace.

Reader Laura responded rather poetically, saying,

I look forward to the new growth that’s in store for you, Laura!