Can a question be answered by a question?

Last year, around this time, I was asked a question by a member of my GENIUS community during a live, virtual event.

She looked me straight in the eyes and said, “I think I might have some sort of lack mentality.”

And then she proceeded to explain.

“My husband, the other day, made a big pot of stew, and he wanted to give some to our nephew… and I was like, well, I’m just going to give him a tiny bowl because I want to keep it to myself.”

This member, whom I have known for years and whose generosity I have experienced personally, went on to explain that she regularly donates to charities and often volunteers her time to others, recognizing that she is abundant in her own life. It was a mystery to her (or so she thought) why she would react this way over a simple bowl of stew.

Instead of answering her immediately, I asked, “Where does it come from?”

Without missing a beat, she replied, “It comes from my childhood. We used to make a grocery list with my mother and had to have three of everything… If we had two cans of beans, we had to have three… It was never enough. We always had to have a surplus of everything, or it wasn’t enough.”

A pause… then a laugh: “You’re making me answer my own question now, aren’t you, Jay?”

And at that moment, a lightbulb went off. It suddenly became less like a Q&A and more like a conversation.

By the time we finished talking, not just about her experience, but about mine too (the way my house has become a hotel, with people in and out all the time, because that’s how I was raised), I was able to reflect back the answer she had just discovered herself:

❝

It doesn’t make you good or bad. It doesn’t make you a scarcity person. It’s just how you were raised. So, I think you have to look at that younger self with compassion and say, ‘This time I’m going to try something different and see what that feels like.’ Reconnecting back with how your mother was—not judging her, she was just doing what she thought was right. Accepting that’s where it comes from. It’s not deeper than that. You did answer your own question.

That moment changed the energy in the room. It wasn’t my answer that moved her. It was her courage to ask, her honesty in sharing something so personal, and her willingness to hear back what she already knew deep down, but had never put into words.

These are the kind of moments I dream about, and that stay with me long after a session ends. They’re also the ones I’m looking forward to having with you in my first-ever Ask Jay LIVE event open to the public.

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The Price of Indecision

There’s a cost to carrying the same unanswered question in your throat year after year. It doesn’t look dramatic at first. It looks more like,

  • “I’ll figure it out soon.”

  • “I just need more time.”

  • “Let me wait until I’m in a better headspace.”

It might feel like a pause button, but it’s really just avoidance that pulls you further and further away from the life you actually want.

One unanswered question becomes:

  • Another year of staying in the same toxic job you’ve outgrown

  • Another relationship where you keep shrinking to keep the peace

  • Another short spike of motivation… followed by deep exhaustion

  • Another season of overthinking every decision and second-guessing your instincts

  • Another year of knowing what you don’t want… but still not knowing what you do

And the worst part?

The question doesn’t go away. It just gets louder.

Because deep down, you know: clarity isn’t something you “eventually” stumble into.

It’s something you create.

So, if you’ve been waiting for the perfect moment to feel ready, this is your reminder:

You don’t need to be ready. You need to be supported.

You need a space where your unanswered question can finally be spoken out loud, without judgment. Where you can stop scrolling for answers and get guidance that meets you exactly where you are.

You need Ask Jay LIVE.

If there’s a question you’ve been carrying, this event is your chance to bring it forward. Get the clarity you’ve been circling for months… or even years.

Join one session. Or join for life. And if you’re still not sure, here’s some more information to help you make the right decision.

Read more about Ask Jay LIVE

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The content in this newsletter is provided for general informational and educational purposes only and is not intended as, and must not be taken as, medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Nothing in this newsletter creates, or is intended to create, a physician–patient or other healthcare professional–patient relationship. You should always consult a qualified physician or other licensed healthcare provider regarding any questions you may have about a medical condition, your health, or any treatment options, and before starting, changing, or stopping any medication, treatment, or wellness program. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay seeking it because of something you have read in this newsletter.
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