Q: Jay, I feel so behind, what can I possibly do to make up for lost time?
If you feel “behind” in life, I imagine you have some idea of what “ahead” looks like.
A house on the beach?
A traditional family (with a bouncing pet)?
A dream job, where you steadily climb upward?
Maybe you just mean more money.
That all sounds nice. And maybe you’d add other items to this list.
The trouble is, our idea of what it means to be “ahead” is often just a reflection of the mythic American dream many of us inherited. It’s still built into the fabric of our social imagination today. For some, this may be a motivator… but more often than not, it can simply make us feel “behind.”
That feeling that you should have figured it out by now. That you should have that house, that family, that job. That dog.
Well, I’m here to speak directly to that “should.”
You are not behind.
Sure, there may be plenty of opportunities you want to chase. Sometimes, though, all it takes to feel “ahead” is redefining your “dream life.”
Take home ownership, for example. In the 1980’s, the typical home buyer was in their late 20’s. Now, according to the National Association of Realtors, the median age for a first time home buyer is 40 years old. First-time home buyers used to make up 40% of all home sales. Today? That number has shrunk to 21%.
How about that happy family in the perfect picture in your head? Well, the median age for people getting married for the first time has risen over 6 years since 1980, according to the US Census.
But I’m not here to just point to numbers. Because you aren’t a data point. Your life isn’t a statistic. You are a unique human being. And as a human being, you are going to compare yourself to others to try to understand how you’re doing. But often we do this to our detriment.
The invitation is to define your own inner metric for success and let your dreams align with that, instead of chasing some myth that was written by and for someone else.
We want to shift “The American Dream” to “The Dream I Created For Myself.”
On Purpose
On Wednesday’s episode, I brought together some of the most practical voices in finance to help us rethink our relationship with money. We’re encouraged to chase wealth, yet most of us were never taught how money actually works. Scott Galloway, Jaspreet Singh, Codie Sanchez, and Lewis Howes share simple, grounded principles that shift us from quick fixes to long-term stability. Their insights remind us that real freedom isn’t about looking rich, it’s about building a life where you can breathe, choose, and live with intention.
Listen on
If you want to feel inspired, learn practical tools, and hear powerful stories, follow and listen to On Purpose on Amazon Music, Spotify, and Apple Podcasts.
Do you feel like you’re on track in your life?
Today’s Wiser Choice
Success is about maturity, not timing. And age has nothing to do with it. If you feel like you’re “too old” for success, you need to rewrite that belief.
Try This: What’s something you really want that you feel like you’re too old for? Maybe it’s a relationship. Or maybe a professional accomplishment. Now imagine somebody else your age achieving that thing. How does it make you feel? Are they too old?
What would it take you to allow yourself to be “just the right age” to do that thing?
