Have you ever wondered why some relationships feel effortless, while others leave you feeling frustrated or stuck?
In my recent interview with Thais Gibson, we unpacked one of the most powerful forces that shapes relationships: our attachment style.
If you don’t know what an attachment style is, let me break it down for you.
Attachment styles are patterns that are formed in childhood based on how our caregivers interacted with us as infants. These patterns affect how we form relationships as adults.
There are four attachment styles:
Anxious Preoccupied: you have a subconscious fear of abandonment.
Fearful Avoidant: relationships can feel unpredictable and emotionally draining.
Dismissive Avoidant: you typically withdraw from arguments or triggering situations.
Secure Attached: you tend to feel comfortable and secure in relationships.
Knowing your attachment style is just the first step.
The real growth comes when you take that knowledge and use it to rewire old patterns. Understanding your attachment style gives you insight into your behaviors, triggers, and beliefs so you can respond consciously rather than react on autopilot.
Learning how to cope with your attachment style also helps you:
Navigate challenges with awareness
Create authentic connections
Transform behaviors and old beliefs
When you understand your attachment style, relationships stop just being about chemistry, compatibility, or finding the “right” person.
You’ll see that relationships are also an opportunity for you to name, understand, and fulfill your own unmet needs.
First, naming the patterns that shaped you in the first place.
Then, understanding why you react the way you do. That awareness is the turning point for you to notice your triggers without judging them, communicate your needs without apologizing for them, and choose growth over fear.
Instead of automatically repeating old patterns, you begin to choose responses that align with the kind of love you truly desire. That’s the fulfillment.
And when you learn to fulfill your own unmet needs, you stop outsourcing your worth and start building relationships rooted in clarity, compassion, and conscious choice.
Which attachment style feels most resonant for you?
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On Purpose
Yesterday on On Purpose, I welcomed back biochemist, bestselling author, and Glucose Goddess Jessie Inchauspé for a conversation that built even deeper on the impact she’s already had on millions of lives. This time, we talked about a truth few people fully understand: pregnancy is not just a waiting period, but a critical window that shapes a child’s physical, mental, and metabolic health for life. Jessie and I explored why so many parents feel misinformed, how outdated myths like “eat for two” persist, and why science tells a very different story about the nine months that truly count forever.
Listen on:
Today’s Wiser Choice
Try This: The next time you feel triggered in a relationship from a delayed text, a short reply, a shift in tone, don’t react immediately.
Instead:
Pause for 90 seconds. Take slow breaths, and let the initial wave of emotion pass.
Name what you’re feeling. Not the story. Just the feeling: anxious, rejected, overwhelmed, defensive.
Choose one grounded response. Ask calmly for clarity, express how you feel without blame, give yourself reassurance before seeking it elsewhere.
Growth shows up in the second response. That small pause can change everything.
